he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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