My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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