I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
This is my gift to your gina
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
