i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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