I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
