I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize