We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
