Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
