i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
