I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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