hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
