): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Randomize
