I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
