All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
