Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
