I just cut my nipple shaving
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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