Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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