The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
