There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
