he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
