I've blown a few things in my day
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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