Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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