You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize