hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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