In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Randomize
