sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
