The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
babies were throwing up all over the place
I cut my penus on the lid.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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