clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
