he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
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