so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
