I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
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