thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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