Well douche your snatch and let's go!
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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