I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
