Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
