In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Randomize
