Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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