When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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