Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
honey bunches of taint.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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