all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
