So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Who died my cat blue again?
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