Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Hippo gnu deer
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
