just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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