In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Randomize
