Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize