how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
