I think i sorta joined a cult last night
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
