escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
