is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Randomize
