JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
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