I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
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