How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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