i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize