And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
