i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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