We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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