I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
